#Letter from my addiction how to#
#Letter from my addiction full#

You will rather sit, wait for two hours on a drug dealer to tell you where to meet him, drive to three different places of which they direct you, at times engage in sexual activities because you know if you pretend to love someone we could manipulate them into giving you money so you can get a quick fix on a daily basis, instead of forming memories playing Rook with your parents and siblings, laughing, sharing life with them, watching your youngest sister riding her first bike, being supportive for your siblings because of their pain from our past, and dealing and supporting everyone through our loved ones’ deaths. We become puppets and every action is directed by someone, driven by a force we cannot control. A pretty face we hide behind and walk around, as though there is no pain, no secrets, and no problems. We are not living life at this time, just existing in what we think is “normal.” We fall behind in memories, our thoughts become useless, and we surrender to the monster stating there is no hope for us. We can see that the hands on the clock are moving, the people are being fast-forwarded, but yet we remain sitting still just stuck and staring. It’s kind of like the movies, where a person is sitting in a chair and looking at the wall clock. The monster takes a step out of the shadows and claimed the reins over our life. Alcohol, benzos, and marijuana all in one night tends to form a black memory and numbing sensation.

#Letter from my addiction how to#

We call the “friends” that tell us how to rid the pain that is now being formed around our heart. At thirteen years of age, you decide to give up. Our daddy comes to the rescue and he pushes her to the side and pulls you and swaddles you in the blankets into his arms.

You will scream for mercy wondering where God is to shield you. We cuddle up in a corner, hiding underneath a blanket as though it will protect us from the sting of a horse whip coming down on us. I am hoping that by telling you our story, you will take in every breath, for what it is truly worth. I am telling you these things in order to prepare you for what our life will hold for us. You will end up being able to see, smell, laugh, truly love, and be unbelievably happy. Bear with us though, sweetie, because the end will become just a beginning for you.

#Letter from my addiction full#

You will strive to reach your full potential and you will make it through this life, however, there will be much pain, horror, sorrow, and there will be times where you will feel like giving up. I am about to tell you a story about our life. Yes, put your pride down and just read, child. You are receiving this letter from yourself, just an older and much wiser version of yourself.